PARKER’S DAD

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I could not decide which blog I should post this on.  This is a post I have thought about writing many times.  A post that I will have run by Amanda before I post it.  There are things that are just family business, but I am hopeful this post will encourage someone.  I have received many emails and comments about PARKER, THE BABY THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING.  If you have read my blog for anytime you know Parker is our oldest “little” who is eleven and not so little anymore.  It literally seems like yesterday that my then 18 year old Amanda, sitting in our pastor and good friends office, both of them crying and looked at me and said “Mom, I’m pregnant”!  I can tell you a thousand things that would have rocked my boat more than that.  She will confirm to you that my reaction was not much more than, “We need to get a nursery decorated”!  And we did.  I had just finished tree season and so from that very ordinary day in January until May all we did was plan, decorate, dream and eat.  We laugh at how many times she and I ate out.  Within a week we knew it was a boy.  And this was a boy that I could not wait to get my hands on.  From that moment in the delivery room when I got to cut the cord, I have been crazy in love with this boy, a love I never knew existed.  Thank you Amanda for handing me that precious gift. Parker was our only grandchild for seven years.  When Greg married Dana, we were blessed with Austin.  Then eight years after Parker, Jack came on the scene…and then the next year we were blessed with Grayson.  BUT PARKER had a LONG TIME where he was the one and only.  He and Amanda lived with us the first five years of his life.  He is the meaning behind the title of this blog.  He DID CHANGE EVERYTHING. 
In  other posts I  have told you all about him. He is brilliant, he is well traveled, he knows the Mouse well, he is kind, he is well mannered,  he is handsome, he is a little adult that takes being a big brother to Jack very serious. Parker and Jack
He said tonight, “Grammy doesn't Jack have the cutest laugh” and he does.   Parker bears the name of both my grandfathers, his great-grandfathers. He is called by my Moms maiden name, his Moms middle name.  There is no doubt in my mind he will be a world changer.  Yep, he is pretty near perfect, at least this Grammy thinks so.  I have told you all that before.  I have also told you how protective we were when Amanda married.  How scared we were.  In some cases, how we needed to back off.  Amanda knew who she loved.  I just needed to be sure that person knew how to love and parent Parker.  I don’t have to tell you I had some pretty hard qualifications.  Amanda married Micah when Parker had just turned 8.  (I think) You can read the Micah post here.  I got this one wrong…and everyday I am thankful that I did.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think Parker would ever be such great friends with the man that married his Mom.Micah and Parker
What I have never talked about is Parker’s Dad.  Actually Parker gets really lucky here.  He has two.  He has never wanted for male role models in his life.  He has an Unc (Greg) that has loved him as much as his own from the day he was born.  He has two grandfathers that think he is “the best thing that ever happened to them”!  He also had the privilege of having his great grandfather in his life for his first eight years.  This boy is blessed.  And he should be spoiled and I guess he is, but most days I see nothing that would give that away. 
BUT he does have a Dad that he loves very much and that loves him very much. This next part will just be from my perspective.  (just a disclaimer since its my blog)  Have we always had a great relationship? NO
Have I always wanted Parker to have a relationship with his Dad? Yes 
Amanda had to grow up overnight.  Brad had a choice and for a some years he chose a different path.  A path I hated and I think he would tell you one he hated.  Never was he totally out of Parker’s life, but at times on a very limited basis.  I think there was a period of time I gave up hope. There was a period of time I did not really care.  It was easier that way. Did we have problems?  Absolutely! 
Brad moved away from our town for a few years and in that time I saw a huge change.  I am sure he would tell you I watched him closely, always afraid that it was just temporary.  It took a couple of years for me to really think it was a REAL CHANGE.  Now that it has been more than a couple of years it makes me so happy when I see how much he loves Parker and how Parker is so proud of him. I think in many ways Parker saved his life.  This is the bonus.  He and Micah have become friends and do lots of things with Parker together.  They have been on a weekend camping trip, watched ballgames, shared meals…that means everything to Parker.  Amanda and Brad have a good relationship…So what was once a not so great situation, to put it mildly, has totally changed.  And in my book, that’s a good thing.  Meet Brad, Parker’s Dad. 
brad and parker

18 comments:

Love Being A Nonny said...

What a precious, unselfish, from the heart post. And, He looks a LOT like his dad!

Kelly @ Blessed Mommy, Blessed Wife said...

This is such a beautiful post!! What a blessed young man who has everything going for him :) I'm sure Amanda is beyond grateful for such a supportive mom, too! Blessings to you and your beautiful family!

Doris said...

What a story of love... and grace!

My oldest daughter left a letter for us to find 16 years ago that said she was pregnant. I cried. Then went to buy her some flowers that I placed in her bedroom when she returned home.(she was 20) We loved her no matter what and so did all of her huge family! I was her labor coach. She and her son lived with us for 4 years till she and her son's dad married. Our Grandson is now over 6ft. tall, a young man whom we are so proud of. He still loves to come here on each Sunday to spend time with his aunts, uncles and cousins.

Thanks for sharing your heart warming story! (sorry about the long comment...it caused me to reminisce!)

Theresa said...

I can relate to the very first part of this post! My Daughter was pregnant with my first Granddaughter and lived with us for a while! There is nothing sweeter than the FIRST Grandchild, cutting that cord and loving like you have never loved before!

Parker looks SOOOO much like his Dad and they are both very handsome! I remember seeing so many pictures of Parker with Jack and I can tell how much he loves him:) Isn't it wonderful that he has such a great relationship with Micah!

Enjoy your day my friend! Thanks for sharing from your heart! HUGS

Kat said...

Isn't our God awesome?!!!! He can make what seems to us impossible POSSIBLE. You are so right...Parker is one lucky boy.

Much love and big hugs,
Kat

Lisa said...

Sweet post! I'm glad Parker has all these men for role models. So many kids now days don't have them. Parker looks like his birth dad.
The man I call dad is my step dad and I love him so much....he is my DAD!

Loraleigh said...

This one was really nice to read and think back - wow, it's really been 11-12 years. I am glad to know all is going well over there for you guys.

Melanie said...

Teresa, I'm very sure this will be an encouragement to someone...maybe "several someone's."
By the way...the Parker name is my maternal grandmother's maiden name - Mamie Jane (Parker) Williams (Vardaman, MS).

PEA said...

Good morning dear Teresa:)

It was so lovely to learn more about Parker's dad and what a blessing that things have turned out the way they did. Too many times the real father is not involved in the child's life. I'm glad that's not the case with this story:-) xoxo

gayle said...

What a wonderful thing that the 2 dad's get along! Beautiful post

lifeinlimits said...

What a sweet, sweet post. I'm so glad things are going so well for everyone and that God's grace upheld in the rougher times. :)

Thanks so much for stopping by and for your comment! It's always so nice to know who has dropped in so that I can return the honor. :)

I love your blog and can't wait to read more!

Heavenly Savings said...

Cute Blog! I’m a new follower Happy Saturday!! I would love for you to stop and take a look at my blog as well! Thanks!
http://heavenlysavings.blogspot.com

Sherri Lynn Herrmann said...

Greetings!

Blog hopping..grabbed your button, following you!


~Peace~

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Thank you for sharing this story. Parker is blessed to have two dads and I am so happy how it all turned out. (He looks like his dad)
What a blessing to Amanda and Parker to have Micah in their lives.

Teresa Choplin @ tchoplin2009(at)gmail(dot)com said...

Bless all of your hearts! Thanks for sharing this much needed post. So many times parents and step parents feel they are competing. Following you from the blog hop!

Please come check my blog out at http://www.nontypicalmom.com/

Tchoplin2009@gmail.com
Have a great day!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Oh, I love this story...so honest, so heartfelt, and that picture - look at the pride on the faces of father and son!

You have been blessed with a fine family, and they blessed with you.

Cindi @ Rustique Art said...

First time here...bawling my eyes out. God is so good to us. You are amazing Teresa. I pray that I will always remember this post; especially when faced with challenges...I pray my response would be filled with the grace and love you showed to your precious daughter that day.

Amy said...

Glad you were so accepting of your young daugthers pregnancy and how much you love him. If only all situations turned out so good the world woulkd be a much different place. Hoped over from Lynnette's blog cause I just couldn't wait for the party to begin!